◆
3:51 AM
女孩的自白 //
好久好久已经没有如此开放自己。在课外活动时。在球场上，疯狂地放松身心，没有禁忌。都忘了最后一次是何时。分外珍惜如细水长流且不留痕的光阴。因为我晓得这样的日子不常有。有多久了，没有拨开心里沉重的枷锁，时时封闭着真实的自我。人总是那么地奇怪，亦格外可悲。往往都戴上不属于自己的伪装面具，画上纤细且不失韵味的神秘微笑，嘴角微微上扬却不快乐。
曾几何时，我也演变成其一了。
说实在，我们总是表示得莫不在乎，骗得了他人，却骗不了自身。在他人眼中，我也许可以表现得莫不关心，其实，我很在意。在外人眼中，我或许是个泼辣的女孩；也许会是个文静的女孩。在朋友的立场上，眸子流露的自己可能会是虚伪的、自私的女孩；也可能是惹人厌恶的跟屁虫。也许吧！至于家人方面，我确确实实是一个喜欢耍性子、爱发脾气、一触即发以及略带点儿疯狂的女孩。我唯唯一一的优点就是———能够说出自己的缺点。哈哈。
也许是我想多了。也许我真的做错了什么。我的诚信微笑竟惹得别人的不屑一顾。当场心倏地凉了半截，冷冷地收起那抹微笑，不屑地望向他方。我确实是很在意的。但是。算了。可能是我哪里得罪了你这个朋友罢。
可我好想好想告诉你：别用你鄙视的眼神瞧我，我相信你也不喜欢他人用锐利且带有贬义的目光投向你。谢谢。
◆
3:50 AM
Satisfication grabbed my heart. //
Well, I was EMO for whole 4 period in school today. My mouth was fully zipped. Honestly, I wasn't satisfy with one's attitude, the way she talk and so on. But unfortunately, I won't be mentioning her name by HERE, it's kind of unfair to her, wasn't it ? & a little bit confession towards myself : I know I'm not the perfect one, I've an awful lot of bad habits. Perhaps in your mind, I'm stingy, selfish, foolish etc. But I'm who I'm. This is the way I used to be, I just wanna be myself. Please forgive my imperfectness. I don't yearn for someone to forgive my everything. B'cause I don't pretty much deserve it.
Fine, let don't talk about it. As you know, the ranking of July Test was published. OKAY, it's ... it's alright. Such a kind of big relief. & I was, finally satisfied. Yay ~ -.-
By the way, check out here ! Baboo broke the her chair and the screw was crooked. Well, what a pity. Everybody in the class was then shocked, and burst into laughter XDD HAHAHA :b
Anyway, thanks for dropping by and please kindly leave a tag !
◆
4:51 AM
the tears //
Yes, no school for today due to the replacement of 1 Malaysia Sport Activities. Well, I can feel the hotness of the damn weather surrounds me now, and the boredom is tearing me apart. So I'm here, to post about something.
As you know, I QUIT facebook yesterday, I suppose I won't be back to facebook anymore. My fb account is officially deserted since NOW ! In fact I want myself to pay more attention in my studies as I'm extremely disappointed because of my result. & I cried.
Dear beloved friends,
I cried & it's not because of the Geography super sucks scores, perhaps the scores is part of it. I feel so stressed, not from anyone, either family members or friends but myself. Honestly, I don't find myself excel in this monthly examination. I yearns for perfect, you knew it. Insane. Perhaps. Hahas. I'm very disappoint indeed for all the results I got now. I knew I've never been satisfy. When I got Bs, I seriously wanna As. But when I got As, I want extra-excellent result. This is me. The way I tend to be. Mentality metamorphosis ? Fine, maybe. Okay, stuff I cared the most, Chinese - 84% , Geography - 83% , Malay - 77.5% , Life Skills - 90%. That's all. I deserved it b'cause I don't put enough effort in them, especially the Malay subject. LOL. #Exam is not yet gone, the History subject, oh goodness.
我总是假装得很快乐，其实并不然/
Labels: tears